Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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