OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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