she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
