This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
