3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
