Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
