Need sex. Gaining weight.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
