i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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