well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
