We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
