You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Randomize
