He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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