I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
