Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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