..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
