I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
