When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
