get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
