If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
