Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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