So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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