You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
