My pussy is not your playground.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
