And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
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