after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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