Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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