and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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