i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
