omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
