i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
