This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
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I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
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Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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