The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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