guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
