i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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