Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
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My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
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Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.