Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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