It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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