How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
