dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
