Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
