sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
It's shark week go big or go home
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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