and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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