So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize