I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
