exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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