She's JV to your varsity
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
