Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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