Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
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