i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
