i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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