His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
You can't special order awesome
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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