There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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