Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
