thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
