I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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