Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
there is puke in my bra ... again
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
