You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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