No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
