Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
