we made out on top of his cat.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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