Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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