She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
