they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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