ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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